Samina: Rebels in the tower? I suppose it is tuesday.
Guard: No! Not Rebels...guests!
Samina: What? Well, have you cleaned out the rebels for their arrival?
Guard: No, they just showed up! The princess seems to have taken a liking to them. Apprenticed them, even!
Samina: The princess apprentices a squirrel each thursday. Then she forgets about it each saturday. Nothing of concern.
Guard: I must say, though, They are very strange princesses-in-training. Their Fair hair belies their...unique proportions and opinions. They speak of equal rights, respect for all peoples. It is...inspiring.
Samina: ...THEY have returned? How? Dispose of them immediately.
Guard: But...your highness! They are fair and kind! How could I ever do such a horrid thing to them?
Samina: Guard-
Guard: My name is Quigley, your highness.
...QUIGLEY. come with me. I have something to show you.
You're quite a common subject, you tread a common trail...
But ruling a nation's frought with frustrations always on your tail
For now, everything is managed
For now, everything's serene
For now, I've been able to keep my hands clean.
Guard: Indeed you have, my queen. But how?
Samina: I speak, arrange, bargain, tweak, exchange, and end with a handshake
And if they're unconvinced, let them eat cake.
Guard: But, my Samina, that's rather open-ended. How would-
Queen: Don't get all caught up in the specifics. Here, have some cake.
Guard: Really?! Such a delicacy has never touched my humble tongue! I shall be eternally greatful for thy kindness!
Queen: And now you see how I make my deals, dear Quigley.
A little bit of sweetness
A morsel of whipped cream
And people whose intersecting views tend to lean on the extremes
Will find themselves quite centered
Restored to proper thought
And hun, you KNOW that flavor ain't store-bought. Hohoho...
Guard: It is truly heavenly, your highness!
Queen:
A little mint with a tiny hint of sprinkled coconut flakes
And they're all overjoyed and eat their cake.
Guard: I can TASTE the mint! It's subtle, yet divine!
Queen:
Ah, but the best part is what you cannot taste!
Guard: What?
Queen:
There's a spice in here that I've pioneered, and it solves my problems quick
It's my dear late husband's favorite...ARSENIC.
Guard: Arse-GHH!
Queen: And there it is.
Guard: Y...you monster...
Queen: (facetiously) Guards! Guards, come quickly! A rebel has made an attempt on my life! Your dear comrade has taken the blow. Give him a proper burial.
(vile) He died a hero.
Guard: Gh...uhhh.....
Guard 2: My queen! Thank goodness you are safe! Tend to our fallen comrade, men. Oh, Quigley...your name...was terrible...
Samina: So...my men refuse to dispose of them, do they? That's quite allright.
Guards? Please bring to me the princesses in training.
Guard 2: What for, your highness?
Samina: I should like to dine, and to pick their minds, tommorow, at daybreak.
